Lately, I’ve been spending quite a bit of time contemplating mySelf…wondering what I can release and what I want to embrace. I see myself as an overachiever, a perfectionist, a detail oriented control freak, so to speak. But this is not all of me. I know I’m also purposefully hopeful, unabashadly loving, and absolutely determined. The question is: how do I embrace all of my Self without judgment and with loving acceptance?
How do any of us transcend our negative patterns and engage in genuine compassion?
While my intentions are good, I struggle to practice complete self-acceptance. I must constantly redirect my mind chatter toward a kind and gracious thought pattern that encourages my joy and love of Self. I consistently use affirmations, positive visions, and deep breathing patterns to maintain my focus and be nurturing of myself…for if we cannot truly love, support and encourage our Selves, then how can we expect anyone else to love, support or encourage us and how can we possibly expect to wholeheartedly love, support or encourage another?
And yet, day in and day out, I face the truth: I am not perfect. I fuck up from time to time, I fail occasionally, and I let myself down because I am not always being my ideal self. But guess what, I am also tremendously successful, and I have the tenacity to persevere despite my slip ups because I know I am good enough and important enough and worthy enough of my efforts and endeavors to be ever better.
And although I have been working to let go of certain facets of my personality that I think may be a hindrance, a recent conversation with a yogi friend illuminated the contradictory nature of my best intentions. After I explained that I am a perfectionist and overachiever, who is incredibly hard on herself and wants to be everything all at once, I admitted that I am attempting to let go of my overachieving nature. My new friend responded prophetically, “It sounds a little overachieving to think that you could let go of being an overachiever, doesn’t it?” Wow! Like a lightning bolt to the brain, I realized how absolutely true this is! How could I possibly think that working so hard to change myself is a means of letting go and being in the flow?
Again, realizing how misdirected my energies had been, at first I felt like a failure, but then quickly realized that failing does not mean I’m a failure; failing means I am learning and growing. So, instead I took this brilliant gem of newfound understanding and tucked it away in the files of my memory to remind me again that progress is not always pretty and growth is not easy.
Change is challenge, change is inevitable and change is oh so good.
Meanwhile, in the midst of my contemplative life and my intentions to transform and improve mySelf, my inspiring husband reflected to me that I am a wonderful mama; my first response was to disclaim his statement, telling him instead that I am always messing up and not always the best mom that I hope to be. He gently reminded me that simply my intentions to be the best mom I can is what makes me an amazing mama.
My heart flooded with gratitude for his clarity and willingness to remind me that I am enough.
I begin again to see mySelf as ENOUGH.
I am enough.
I am enough.
I am enough.
And I give thanks for the loves in my life who remind me over and over again when I really need to know:
ALL IS WELL.
I am perfectly imperfect and I love me.
How could it feel to LOVE yourself even more?
How can you embrace your imperfection?
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Nanette MacLellan
November 5, 2012
I keep council with my Wise Self, when things look less than perfect I reflect on my intention, the crystal seed of my action or non action…and make adjustments. Love the thoughts, ideas and what you’re sharing…I look forward to your weekly post…smile
daretoshineteo
November 5, 2012
Nanette, your loving support means the world to me…thank you for your presence & wisdom. 🙂
Mitchel D. Bazant
November 6, 2012
Hey ‘Nicer,
Sorta like your older bub, WIP, Work In Progress. If you can consider being that, then you can always use it, to think “Hey, I still have lots of time to get the job done!” There are no deadlines in life sweetie, only the ones you let yourself create in your mind.
I never liked societie’s norms, the ever perpetual clock and calendar. Collecting material things to impress others. I remind “us”; awe heck, we can’t take it with us! in other words, is it really good for the soul?
I’ve studied allsorts of religions and kinda accept the idea of Nirvana, giving away all of ones possessions in order to achive that state of bliss, although, in our society, we are led to believe that “owning” material goods is a good thing. <(bad pun intended) lol–trying to keep up with the Joneses can wreek havoc on the inner most beauty of every individual on this planet.
From afar, I've admired you for all of your goodness and beauty, both inner and outer!
Mum once told me to stop overthinking everything, this is a hard lesson to learn, still find myself forgetting it. Be happy with whom you are and what have you, consider gratefullness for all of the great blessings that enters your life and those around you. Zen.. lotsa Love from Mitch
Denise Dare
September 11, 2013
Bub, you are the best! Thank you, always, for your kind support and wise words…I love you! 🙂
Noell Sole - Radiant Living
November 23, 2012
I love this! You and I sound a lot a like! I’ve recently begun to take the approach that those things that I see as my “weaknesses” are really my strengths (i.e. perfectionism, overachieving, etc.) and instead of trying to change them and oppose my natural tendencies I need to find ways to nurture those tendencies. We will never be perfect by any means and in my opinion the only way we are “failures” is by the act of giving up.
Denise Dare
September 11, 2013
Noell, I am not sure how, but I overlooked your comment last year…please forgive my delay.
And, please accept my appreciation for your thoughtful words…I am so grateful for more uplifting and loving souls, like you, in this world!
Happy day and so much love to you!