“The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.”
~Danielle LaPorte
Do you ever look at someone else’s life and wonder, “How can she possibly do it? Does she ever sleep? Why am I having such a hard time keeping up?”
If you answer yes, then have no fear, you’re human.
And, you’re not alone.
I am constantly learning and relearning how to let go of perfectionism, overachievement, and comparisonitis {a sweet term I read recently!}.
This practice of really loving ourselves as we are, where we are, at this particular moment in our journey is a lifelong endeavor.
Being at peace with ourselves is a practice.
Living joyfully in the flow, honoring where we’ve been, appreciating where we are, and happily anticipating where we are going takes conscious effort.
For me, one of my biggest challenges is comparing my entrepreneurial journey with what I see others achieving. I witness success and amazing abundance in the lives of other entrepreneurs and writers, and I can sometimes fall into the trap of “When is it my turn?”
Instead of begrudging my unenlightened and negative response, I do my best to practice compassion with myself. I raise my awareness and remind myself that we are all on our own journeys. And, I practice choosing to focus on the good.
Cuz, let me tell ya, if I stay in that whiny, competitive, she’s got more than I do mindset, things get ugly…and I mean ugly. No good comes out of indulging those yucky thoughts.
We find our power in focusing on what we love, appreciate, and desire.
I remember that my first priority is being a home educating mama to my two lovely girls, being a happy wife, being a healthy woman…and while creating and contributing and shining my light in the world is important to me, letting go of the struggle and simply allowing my path to unfold feels much more magical.
Effortless effort.
Gratitude.
Surrender.
Focus.
Love.
My inner and outer worlds are unlike anyone else’s on this planet. And I happen to really love my life, so why would I want to waste my time daydreaming of someone else’s reality?
I’ve noticed that one powerful and quick way to snap myself out of my competitive, self deprecating mindset is to practice gratitude.
When I feel the pangs of envy or self doubt, I take time to acknowledge all the good in my own life.
I count my blessings.
And suddenly, I feel lighter, more in tune with what matters most to me, and more ready to continue boldly moving forward in the direction of my dreams.
I think it is natural for us to sometimes feel envy or to make comparisons with others. This is part of our human experience. And, these feelings can be really useful if we are aware of how they can help us shift our focus back to what we want. So called “negative” emotions offer us insight into how we really want to feel and provide the opportunity to actively attend to what we most desire in our lives.
The problems arise when we lack self awareness to notice how we are feeling.
If we allow our competitive mindset to keep us stuck in the despairing land of comparing ourselves to someone else, we fail to honor what is so amazing about our own lives.
Remember that quote: “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20“?
A powerful truth to remind ourselves of each day.
Instead of wasting our time competing with the outer lives of others, we could put our energy to much better use by really diving into our own inner universe.
We can practice tuning in to what we really value.
We could ask ourselves {as Danielle LaPorte so eloquently offers}:
What do I desire?
How do I want to feel?
Why do I want what I want?
When we sit in the silence of our own contemplation, we realize that the answers are all there within us.
All we need to do is take time to listen.
For me, the answers remind me that I’ve made a commitment to nurture my children as a home educating mama. That my days are focused on guiding them. That this choice IS valuable. That I am shining my light by being a present, loving, attentive mama.
My inner voice also reminds me that I am in just the right place at the right time. I am publishing my words, I am growing my business, I am organizing my life so I can have time for everything that matters to me.
I am surrendering to allow my business to grow at the exact pace that works for my life…not according to someone else’s schedule.
My journey is just for me.
The more I own my experience, embrace the beauty of being in this moment, appreciate each blissful and challenging step, the more I live happy.
As Danielle LaPorte reminds us:
“The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.”
So, ask yourself, how do I want to feel as I travel through this life?
How can I live more completely in today?
How can I appreciate my own journey?
How can I love myself more?
And let me know what you discover.
You are brilliant. You are wise. You are beautifully human…so share your truth and shine your light.
Wishing You Grace & Gratitude Every Step of the Journey,
Denise
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