“All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”
~Buddha
The thing about choosing happiness is that we still face challenges…being happy does not equate to being free from frustration or occasional chaos in life.
Being happy means choosing to look at life from a place of hope, of optimism, of love.
As I’ve written many times before, I am human. I make mistakes, I eff up, I struggle, I grow, I fail, I learn, I move forward, I keep my head high in the face of what seems like too much, I tune in to my heart to guide me with grace, I listen to my intuition to feel what is the best path for me to continue living joy~fully.
And so, this past weekend, when I was beginning to feel the urge to get super critical about someone I love dearly, I decided to try something different.
In the past, when I have been irritated by something, I’ve made the mistake of allowing my mind to spiral down this path remembering and focusing upon all these other events or circumstances that made me irritated as well…
I could be set off by something seemingly small:
“Really, is it so hard to finish the task?”
But then this misfit mind {when left to its own devices} can take me down that mad path of memories heavy with angst:
“This is just like that time…”
“When will this get better?”
“Why is this so difficult?”
“Do I always have to be the one to handle it?”
“How hard can it be to take care of this?”
“Again?”
You get the idea. When I let my mind swirl with negative emotions, it’s not a pretty picture. And not something I’m proud to admit.
But, for the sake of the story, I want to be clear…
We all struggle. We all face challenge. We are all perfectly imperfect.
The thing is, how we face our challenge is what makes all the difference in our lives.
Had I continued to travel down that negative path of hyper critical thinking, I could have called up lots of memories to make myself right, but I would have sacrificed being happy.
I knew that more than anything, I really wanted to enjoy a peaceful, happy weekend with my family…one where we supported each other as a team, moved together with ease, and filled our home with laughter and touch rather than coldness and distance {I am working on releasing that nasty habit of stonewalling…I’ll keep you posted!}.
We all probably know about the law of attraction… “the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results” {thank you Wikipedia…you’re the best!}.
Apparently this notion was first written about during the New Thought Movement over a century ago. And since then, has been expanded upon by numerous writers and thinkers, including Napoleon Hill, Abraham Hicks, and Danielle LaPorte.
I definitely see in my own life that optimism has been a source of sincere joy and abundance, and I do know that what I focus upon is what I see.
Have you ever done the experiment where you look around the room for 30 seconds taking note of everything that is red?
And then, at the end of 30 seconds, you’re asked to list everything you saw that was blue?
The only things you’ll be able to recall are red. For real. Try it if you don’t believe me.
This little practice is a great reminder that what we focus upon is what we see.
In our lives and in our relationships, we see what we choose to see.
So, this past weekend, I decided I wanted to see my interactions with fresh eyes.
I took out my journal and instead of writing my usual expressions of gratitude {another super helpful writing practice!}, I chose instead to write out everything I would like to see in my relationships.
I wrote about how I want to feel, how I want to interact, how I want to be treated, how I want to be supported, how I want to be cared for…and how I want to treat the ones I love.
Once I finished about five pages, I closed my journal and carried on with my activities.
Although I definitely felt lightness in my heart, I did not have any idea of what would happen.
I’m tellin’ you, it was like magic.
The remainder of our weekend together played out exactly as I had written about in my journal.
I was spoken to with respect and kindness, I was tended to with loving words and actions, I was adored and appreciated…and I felt so damn good.
In one small choice, one simple act, I transformed the reality of my life.
I simply decided what I wanted to see.
And I opened myself to receiving the gift of seeing my life in the way I most desire.
What a revelation.
What a glorious gift to know that I really can choose how I respond to my life, to know that I really can create my experience by deciding what I want to see, to know that I can see whatever I choose to focus upon…
So now I ask you to take this lesson and find a way to try it out in your own life.
Is there a relationship that you’d like to experience anew?
Is there someone with whom you are interacting that is evoking those feelings of frustration and criticism?
Maybe it’s a lover, a friend, a child…or even yourself?
Give yourself the gift of taking a few moments to settle in, tune in to your breath and your heart, and write down everything you want in this particular relationship.
How do you want this person to treat you?
How do you want to feel when you’re together?
How do you want your interactions to transform?
When you take the time to reflect, to express your desire, and to align your heart with your vision, new paths will unfold…
And your life will be transformed.
I’d love to hear how this works for you…please share in the comments what you want to see in your life AND how your clarity of vision helps you create it!
Sending All My Love & Support for Peaceful Living,
Denise
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