It’s been a few weeks now since I said goodbye to Miles.
He was a tiny two pound dirty faced kitten whose brave cries called us out into the desert night to welcome him into our home…and quickly into my heart and my life back in the spring of 2005.
It was late May in Yucca Valley where I lived at the time. I was lounging on the couch in the evening, resting and giving myself grace as I grew my first daughter in my womb.
I heard the wails that I thought must have been coming from a full grown cat outside.
Never did I suspect these cries could emerge from the two pound body of this sweet little kitten who quickly made his way into our lives…where he stayed for over 14 years.
His ability to stay alive and find his way to us was impressive considering we lived only a block from the highway in a desert full of wild animals who could have easily ended his young life.
{My daughter and I were so inspired by Miles’ story that she and I wrote a sweet children’s book about it ~ you can find it here. It’s a love filled story perfect for pet lovers.}
Miles was the coolest cat. He would always make himself at home on his people. In fact, he was most happy when he was perched directly upon us ~ preferably when we were cuddling, he would lay with half of his body on one human and half on the other. It really was the sweetest thing to be so loved by him.
Our family used to joke that Miles failed out of cat school because he had this incredible knack of never retracting his claws and he’d get stuck in whatever material he stepped upon. You definitely did not wear nice clothes when you wanted to pick him up…which was often. He absolutely loved being held like a baby, propped up over the shoulder and patted gently.
Miles was quite a character, unlike any other cat I’ve known. He was the kind of cat who made people want a cat of their own. He was so intuitive, he just knew exactly when to make his way to our laps to comfort or soothe us.
He was so vocal and always welcomed us home with a big cry and demands to turn on the water, so that it would drip slowly from the faucet for him to drink freely.
This little kitty made us smile and laugh more times than I could count. He inspired such joy and tenderness and was an incredible companion.
Letting go of him was so much harder than I expected. I knew he was on his way out of this world as he’d been losing weight, not eating, failing at his jumps, and losing even more cat abilities, but the moment I said goodbye I was met with such a profound despair that I startled myself with my own sobs. I felt wrecked.
It’s crazy how creatures can have such an impact on our lives. Miles was here with us every day for over 14 years. My daughters had only known life with him in it.
I remember the feel of his little kitty body curled up on my chest as I lay in bed. I remember how he’d greet me in the morning with cuddles and his tender closeness.
Even though it hurts to say goodbye, his presence in our lives was worth it. Getting to love him was a gift.
I want to remember to soften the resistance of saying goodbye, accept what is with grace, and allow the joy of remembering how deeply I have loved.
And continue to love.
One of my favorite stories is about Morrie Schwartz (if you haven’t yet read Tuesdays with Morrie, I highly recommend you do so asap!). He reflected that “Death ends a life, not a relationship.”
I like to remember this when my eyes well up with tears about any of the relationships I miss…I want to know that I can still love from afar.
We all can.
Hoping these words remind you to give yourself grace when you are feeling any loss in your life…and that you remember that you are always free to love, beyond life and death, beyond time and space.
Be the first to comment.